Do you feel like people are trying to steer you in one direction or another?
Does it seem people do not credit you with the ability to make a decision?
Do you hear encouragements and offers of support?
Or, are you hearing mostly voices that suggest that it would not be “right” (for you or your baby), too hard for a single woman, not a good enough life for the child.
Voices are everywhere, with opinions and even judgments. The voices ask you to hurry and decide if you will be the mom—or not.
The decisions are your decisions and need to come from your deepest self, the wiser part of you. This is a time when you need information and support, but you do not need people telling you what to do. All options are on the table, including a decision to parent your child.
Could you be a mom?
Should you be a mom?
What questions do you need to ask that would help you really understand what being a parent to this child, at this time in your life, would involve? It is critical to listen to your own voice, to look at the reality of parenting, to separate fact and fantasy, but you need facts and a strategy, too. Being a parent is a full-time job, a huge commitment, and a powerful experience.
• Ask the questions.
• Research the responsibilities as well as the resources.
• Hold on to your power to make a choice that is right for you.
The lyrics of one song say: “This time, Lord, you gave me a mountain to climb.” Even if it feels that way as you face your unplanned pregnancy, people do climb mountains. And everyone that has climbed a mountain did it one step at a time. They studied the mountain they were to climb, created a strategy, and gathered all the supplies and resources they would need for the climb before they took the first step.
Facing an unplanned pregnancy will take courage, focus, strategy, and resources
• to look at all options and all obstacles
• to research facts and clarify information
• to effectively consider the pro’s and con’s
• look beyond the emotions of the moment
• to empower you to make the choices your own
It helps to have the support of friends and family, but this may also be the time to have someone standing beside you that is not attached to the outcome, someone that can help you break all the information and decisions into reasonable and manageable parts.
I encourage you to face these questions with a compassionate friend, parent, counselor, or a coach standing strong beside you, showing you how to look beyond the challenges and barriers to identify the strengths within you that will serve you now.
With a coach, you would know what it is to have a truly unbiased ally, committed to you finding your own answers and be true to yourself.
