Are you afraid to talk to people–even family and friends–about being pregnant?
Not know where to turn or who to trust?
Gripped by FEAR?
Fear, like physical pain, is a signal from your subconscious demanding that you need to be safe, need to protect yourself. Don’t ignore the fear, and, likewise, don’t let it take control. Instead, redefine it.
F.E.A.R. is False Evidence Appearing Real
Are you afraid to talk to people because you fear their disappointment or anger or rejection? That may happen as a first reaction, but another possibility is that those who love you will get past those first reactions and rally to support you. If you stay silent, you don’t give them the chance to be there for you.
F.E.A.R. can also be…
Formulate a Plan. Identify your needs. Look at the source of your fears and ask yourself if your fears are really valid. What if you are wrong? What if there is love and understanding that is stronger than the anger or rejection or abandonment you imagine.
Examine all options. What choices do you have? When you know all of your choices, you can create a realistic strategy.
Assess your safety. Once you have identified your options and designed a strategy, you can assess if you are going to be safe or will still be in danger. Not knowing is really harder and more painful. Fear can become a monster if you let it.
Respond Accordingly. Take action, knowing that you have controlled all you can. Own the fear and move forward anyway. Yes, there are times when fear is legitimate. If it is, you need a plan of action that will take you to a safe place. Inaction would just intensify the danger.
Action allows you to create momentum. It is like riding a bike. When you first start to pedal, you have to work hard to create the motion that allows you to be steady on the bike. The more momentum you have, the easier it is to navigate corners and even get up a hill. And, when you are riding a bike, you are looking forward, always assessing what is ahead so that you can respond appropriately. You have the most control when you have momentum.
What can you do? You can face F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) with F.E.A.R. (Formulate a Plan, Examine Options, Assess safety, and Respond accourdingly). Planned action puts you back in control, which is what you deserve.
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its troubles; it empties today of its strengths.” Author unknown
